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  • Format: ePub

Book excerpts:
From Chapter 1:
Happiness isn't fun. Not during those times when we're unhappy. Most people are generally happy, most of the time. But we do have our moments. We can't always be happy, all the time.
But that's no excuse. In our society, you MUST be happy ALL the time, or else people will think there's something wrong with you. And they'll badger the hell out of you until you paint a fake smile on your face, just to get rid of them.
This can leave you wondering if there really might be something wrong with you. And so even though you're generally happy, you may seek
…mehr

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Produktbeschreibung
Book excerpts:
From Chapter 1:
Happiness isn't fun. Not during those times when we're unhappy. Most people are generally happy, most of the time. But we do have our moments. We can't always be happy, all the time.

But that's no excuse. In our society, you MUST be happy ALL the time, or else people will think there's something wrong with you. And they'll badger the hell out of you until you paint a fake smile on your face, just to get rid of them.

This can leave you wondering if there really might be something wrong with you. And so even though you're generally happy, you may seek ways to be happier. You may want happiness 24/7. Yes, you may want to be smiling, giggling, and chuckling, all day and all night long, just so you and everyone else will know that you're not insane.

And yet, this is much easier said than done. Boosting your level of happiness can be hard work. Happiness is fickle, and depends on many variables, so you can't just will it, and make it come true. In fact, you might rather try digging ditches, than work on improving your mood. Trying to be happier than you are can be a dreadful chore.

From Chapter 5:
Unicorn Theory states that unique experiences can be as elusive and rare as spotting a unicorn. And if you've ever spotted one, you'll know what I'm talking about. Doesn't happen very often, does it?

But when it does happen, it's one hell of a thrill. So wouldn't it be nice if it happened more often than once in a blue moon?

My Auto-Enjoyment Theory, in Chapter 4, asserts that life is automatically enjoyed. I believe in this theory. I think most people are automatically enjoying life, and are happy. In fact, I think you are probably happy right now, even though you're reading this book. Now that's some strong happiness!

From Chapter 7:
. . . if you really want meditation to be sacralized, I don't mind. In fact, I'll help out by suggesting a religious sounding name for this path. How about Unicorniks? I think that's a fitting name, since I'm using unicorns as symbols of unique experiences, and since the goal of this path is to increase our unique experiences.

This is fun, naming things, so now I'm going to get carried away and name something else. I'm going to call all the theories I presented in Chapters 2 through 4, Unikonics. This distinguishes theory from practice. Unikonics discusses the mechanics of our minds, with regard to how our minds produce uniqueness and happiness. But Unicorniks involves putting the theory into practice, by chasing unicorns, and by meditating.

And so we have Unikonics and Unicorniks. I've already presented Unikonics, in this book, up to Chapter 4, as well as much of Unicorniks, beginning with Chapter 5. But I'm not done with Unicorniks yet. Because we haven't discussed the most important part of the practice. And that is, meditation.

Chasing unicorns, as discussed in the last chapter, can be very beneficial. But it is not meditative. It can augment the meditative practice, and thus be part of the Path of Unicorns, and I highly recommend it for that purpose. But nothing beats actual meditation for producing unique experiences and happiness. No, nothing even comes close.

. . . the way to go straight to the mind is through something called "mindfulness." You've probably already heard of this, as it's become quite popular in our New Age world. Everyone seems to have hopped on the bandwagon, when it comes to mindfulness . . .

. . . The problem is that the practice of mindfulness is much easier said than done. Mindfulness is fucking hard! And most people, including me, are fucking lazy. So few people stick with mindfulness long enough to enjoy most of its benefits . . .

. . . Loose mindfulness is why I call it informal mindfulness. You're not trying to prove anything to anybody, as you might feel tempted to do while formally meditating. No, you'...


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Autorenporträt
My last name is pronounced Guh-NEW, and rhymes with canoe.

I began writing when I was five years old. About all I could handle back then were a few scribbled letters that were hardly legible. But eventually I expanded my works to include the full alphabet.

I wrote my very first short story when I was in the third grade. And it won an award. The award came from Mrs. Gypsum, my third grade teacher, and was actually just a letter grade. I think it was an A, but it could have been a B. Or a C. Would you believe, D?

Hell, I can't remember what grade I got. But it turned me on to writing so much, that in the 11th grade I wrote another short story. I was in a high school creative writing class and my teacher, Mrs. Nutt, insisted that I write a short story. Damn her! So I scrawled one out, and it got a few laughs from the other students.

A few laughs is all it takes to encourage me. I can't remember my grade, but I do remember the scowl on Mrs. Nutt's face. So it was probably an F. But it was fun to write a story that my fellow students liked, but my teacher hated. So I kept up the good work, and somehow I passed the class.

I had so much fun that a few years later, in college, I signed up for another creative writing class. I intended to sail through without doing much work, by simply submitting all my old high school short stories, to fulfill assignments.

I found it very easy to get Professor Mushroom's goat, and this encouraged me to chuck all my high school work, and come up with new material, specially tailored for her. That got my creative juices flowing. And somehow, I passed the course. She gave me a B, for Bitch. But with the stories I wrote in that class, I think I deserved an A. For Asshole.

Out in the real world, I realized how hard it would be to make a living from my rogue writing, so I got real jobs and pursued real careers. I was a disc jockey for a few years, but that didn't pay much. Greedy, lazy bastard that I am, I decided that I needed a government job. So I managed to get hired by the U.S. Postal Service, and started throwing letters into mailboxes for a living.

But in a sense, I really was writing for a living. Management tried their best to fire my lazy ass, so I became a union steward and got good at writing grievances. This was how I got my start in non-fiction (although some claimed it was fiction). It was a lot of hard work, writing contentions and organizi...