Written by best-selling author, screenwriter, and producer Seth Grahame-Smith (Stephen King's It), with an introduction by horror icon Wes Craven (A Nightmare on Elm Street), this is a hilarious must-read for any horror movie fan...and it just might save your life. Are you reading this in a cornfield, at a summer camp, or in an abandoned mental institution? Have you noticed that everything is poorly lit, or that music surges every time you open a door? If the answer is yes, you're probably trapped in a horror movie. But don't freak out-just read this book! With it you will learn how to…mehr
Written by best-selling author, screenwriter, and producer Seth Grahame-Smith (Stephen King's It), with an introduction by horror icon Wes Craven (A Nightmare on Elm Street), this is a hilarious must-read for any horror movie fan...and it just might save your life. Are you reading this in a cornfield, at a summer camp, or in an abandoned mental institution? Have you noticed that everything is poorly lit, or that music surges every time you open a door? If the answer is yes, you're probably trapped in a horror movie. But don't freak out-just read this book! With it you will learn how to overcome every obstacle found in scary films, including: • How to determine what type of horror film you're trapped in • The five types of slashers and how to defeat them • How to handle killer dolls, murderous automobiles, and other haunted objects • How to deal with alien invasions, zombie apocalypses, and other global threats • What to do if you did something last summer, if your corn has children in it, or if you suspect you're already dead
Seth Grahame-Smith is a New York Times best-selling author (Pride and Prejudice and Zombies; Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter), screenwriter ( Dark Shadows; The Lego Batman Movie), and producer (Stephen King’s It) of film and television. His novel Pride and Prejudice and Zombies debuted at #3 on the New York Times Best Seller List, has sold over two million copies, and has been translated into more than twenty languages. A film adaptation was released in 2016.
Inhaltsangabe
FOREWORD: AN APOLOGY FROM WES CRAVEN
CHAPTER I: WELCOME TO THE TERRORVERSE How Do I Know If I’m in a Horror Movie? How Do I Know What Type of Horror Movie I’m In? C.R.A.V.E.N. (Cover, Recon, Arsenal, Vehicle, Escape, North) The Seven Deadly Horror Movie Sins How to Survive a Horror Movie High School CHAPTER II: SLASHER SURVIVAL SCHOOL The Slaughterhouse Five: Five Types of Slashers and How to Defeat Them How to Survive Summer Vacation How to Survive a Night of Babysitting How to Stay Awake for a Week CHAPTER III: INANIMATE EVIL How to Survive a Haunted House What to Do When an Evil Vehicle Wants You Dead How to Defeat a Killer Doll How to Tell If an Object Is Evil CHAPTER IV: CRYPT-OGRAPHY How to Survive a Cemetery The Good, the Bad, and the Deadly: Know Your Ghosts How to Kill the Living Dead How to Kill a Vampire How to Tell If You’ve Been Dead Since the Beginning of the Movie CHAPTER V: MONSTER MASH How to Survive a Global Alien Attack What to Do If It Follows You How to Survive a Space-Based Horror Movie CHAPTER 666: THE SATANIC “VERSUS” What to Do If Your Corn Has Children in It Four Ways to Handle a Witch How to Perform an Exorcism What to Do If You Have Only Seven Days to Live How to Defeat Satan
CHAPTER I: WELCOME TO THE TERRORVERSE How Do I Know If I’m in a Horror Movie? How Do I Know What Type of Horror Movie I’m In? C.R.A.V.E.N. (Cover, Recon, Arsenal, Vehicle, Escape, North) The Seven Deadly Horror Movie Sins How to Survive a Horror Movie High School CHAPTER II: SLASHER SURVIVAL SCHOOL The Slaughterhouse Five: Five Types of Slashers and How to Defeat Them How to Survive Summer Vacation How to Survive a Night of Babysitting How to Stay Awake for a Week CHAPTER III: INANIMATE EVIL How to Survive a Haunted House What to Do When an Evil Vehicle Wants You Dead How to Defeat a Killer Doll How to Tell If an Object Is Evil CHAPTER IV: CRYPT-OGRAPHY How to Survive a Cemetery The Good, the Bad, and the Deadly: Know Your Ghosts How to Kill the Living Dead How to Kill a Vampire How to Tell If You’ve Been Dead Since the Beginning of the Movie CHAPTER V: MONSTER MASH How to Survive a Global Alien Attack What to Do If It Follows You How to Survive a Space-Based Horror Movie CHAPTER 666: THE SATANIC “VERSUS” What to Do If Your Corn Has Children in It Four Ways to Handle a Witch How to Perform an Exorcism What to Do If You Have Only Seven Days to Live How to Defeat Satan
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