Rebecca Eckler shows women everywhere that while they're busy offering not-so-casual advice and reprimands to the men in their life, they've lost sight of an important fact: they're not dating a boyfriend, they're raising a boyfriend. He wandered away from the checkout, leaving her to cope with an overflowing shopping car. He dashed in front of her to cross a busy intersection without so much as a backwards glance. He forgot - forgot! - to meet her at the airport after a trip. And then an inescapable truth settled in: Rebecca Eckler already had a six-year-old daughter, so what was she doing…mehr
Rebecca Eckler shows women everywhere that while they're busy offering not-so-casual advice and reprimands to the men in their life, they've lost sight of an important fact: they're not dating a boyfriend, they're raising a boyfriend. He wandered away from the checkout, leaving her to cope with an overflowing shopping car. He dashed in front of her to cross a busy intersection without so much as a backwards glance. He forgot - forgot! - to meet her at the airport after a trip. And then an inescapable truth settled in: Rebecca Eckler already had a six-year-old daughter, so what was she doing with a boyfriend who was even worse behaved? There were only two options. Dump the sucker and concentrate on raising her child. Or raise her boyfriend, too. From making introductions, to offering compliments, to saying you're sorry, boyfriends need to be raised with the same lessons we use on our kids. As Rebecca writes, "If I can raise a child - a smart, kind and polite one - surely I can raise a boyfriend, too."
Contents Warning x Dear Any Dumb-ass Guy Thinking About Dating Me xi Part 1: LANGUAGE ARTS 1. Why Is It So Hard for Men to Answer a Damn Question? 3 2. Pick Up Your Phone and Return My Texts 10 3. Magic Words. Men Did Go to Kindergarten, Didn’t They? 16 4. You Say Nothing and I Say Hello 21 5. Do You Think I’m Pretty? Do I Look Good? Do You Like My Haircut? Then Why the Fuck Don’t You Say So? 26 6. Seriously! They Are Only Three Words: I Love You 33 7. Why Saying Sorry Is as Hard for Men as Asking for Directions 37 8. How Can You Fall Asleep? We’re Just Starting the Fight! 43 You Have Another Three Hours to Go, Buddy! Part 2: Social Development/Social Sciences 9. I’m Here … Where the Hell Are You? 51 10. You’re Bailing? WTF? 55 11. Would You Like Some Cheese with That Whine? 58 12. What Cave Did You Grow Up In? 61 13. Being a Plus One. When Good Dates Go Bad 65 14. The PDA. Don’t You Want to Let the World Know I’m Yours? 70 15. You’re Not Really Going to Wear That, Are You? 73 16. Shopping with Men. Like Swimming with Sharks, but Worse 78 17. Baggage (and Not the Louis Vuitton Kind). I’m Talking About the Ex. Why Won’t She Go Away? 81 18. Being Friends with the Opposite Sex. Just Friends? 86 19. Flirting. Yes, She’s Cute, but She Doesn’t Have Anything in Her Teeth, So Stop Staring!88 20. The Washroom. Seriously, What Are You Doing in There? 91 21. Gas (Not at the Pumps). It’s Really NOT Funny 94 22. Take the Hint: We Want Our Alone Time 96 23. Last Call. No, It’s NOT Okay to Bring Your Drunk Friends Home for a Nightcap 98 Part 3: Physical Sciences 24. Hello? I’m RIGHT BEHIND YOU! 103 25. Use the Button If You Want to Turn Me On 106 26. Just a Little Bit About Porn … 110 27. The Dishwasher Is NOT Invisible, You Know 114 28. Why Separating Whites and Darks Can Lead to a Different Kind of Separation 118 29. Diagnosis? Man Cold. Prescription? Shut the Fuck Up 120 30. Why Male Nurses Are Sexy … Or So We Think 123 31. Help in Aisle Five! There’s a Clueless Man Grocery Shopping 125 32. The Needy Guy (Stop the Madness!) 129 33. The Gas Station. How to Fill Up the Car 131 34. You’re “Driving” Me Insane! This Should Not Be the Highway to Hell! 134 Part 4: Attitude/Effort 35. Movie Night. What Do You Mean You Don’t Want to See The Notebook? 141 36. You Can Remember Who Won the 1991 World Series, but You Can’t Remember Our Anniversary? 144 37. Celebrate Good Times, and Moan with Us During Bad Times 151 38. You Can Book a Tee Time but Not a Reservation? 154 39. Getting High and Other Bad Habits. Don’t Be a Dope 157 40. Five Hundred Channels and One Argument 160 41. The Adult Temper Tantrum. You Need a Time Out, Mister! 163 42. How to Travel Together. It’s NOT a Day at the Spa 166 43. Money, Money, Honey … 169 Part 5: I Know This Is the Way You Are 44. Snorers. Yes, You Do So Snore! 175 45. Temperature Rising: Air-Conditioner Wars 177 Epilogue 179 Afterword 183 Acknowledgments 185
Contents Warning x Dear Any Dumb-ass Guy Thinking About Dating Me xi Part 1: LANGUAGE ARTS 1. Why Is It So Hard for Men to Answer a Damn Question? 3 2. Pick Up Your Phone and Return My Texts 10 3. Magic Words. Men Did Go to Kindergarten, Didn’t They? 16 4. You Say Nothing and I Say Hello 21 5. Do You Think I’m Pretty? Do I Look Good? Do You Like My Haircut? Then Why the Fuck Don’t You Say So? 26 6. Seriously! They Are Only Three Words: I Love You 33 7. Why Saying Sorry Is as Hard for Men as Asking for Directions 37 8. How Can You Fall Asleep? We’re Just Starting the Fight! 43 You Have Another Three Hours to Go, Buddy! Part 2: Social Development/Social Sciences 9. I’m Here … Where the Hell Are You? 51 10. You’re Bailing? WTF? 55 11. Would You Like Some Cheese with That Whine? 58 12. What Cave Did You Grow Up In? 61 13. Being a Plus One. When Good Dates Go Bad 65 14. The PDA. Don’t You Want to Let the World Know I’m Yours? 70 15. You’re Not Really Going to Wear That, Are You? 73 16. Shopping with Men. Like Swimming with Sharks, but Worse 78 17. Baggage (and Not the Louis Vuitton Kind). I’m Talking About the Ex. Why Won’t She Go Away? 81 18. Being Friends with the Opposite Sex. Just Friends? 86 19. Flirting. Yes, She’s Cute, but She Doesn’t Have Anything in Her Teeth, So Stop Staring!88 20. The Washroom. Seriously, What Are You Doing in There? 91 21. Gas (Not at the Pumps). It’s Really NOT Funny 94 22. Take the Hint: We Want Our Alone Time 96 23. Last Call. No, It’s NOT Okay to Bring Your Drunk Friends Home for a Nightcap 98 Part 3: Physical Sciences 24. Hello? I’m RIGHT BEHIND YOU! 103 25. Use the Button If You Want to Turn Me On 106 26. Just a Little Bit About Porn … 110 27. The Dishwasher Is NOT Invisible, You Know 114 28. Why Separating Whites and Darks Can Lead to a Different Kind of Separation 118 29. Diagnosis? Man Cold. Prescription? Shut the Fuck Up 120 30. Why Male Nurses Are Sexy … Or So We Think 123 31. Help in Aisle Five! There’s a Clueless Man Grocery Shopping 125 32. The Needy Guy (Stop the Madness!) 129 33. The Gas Station. How to Fill Up the Car 131 34. You’re “Driving” Me Insane! This Should Not Be the Highway to Hell! 134 Part 4: Attitude/Effort 35. Movie Night. What Do You Mean You Don’t Want to See The Notebook? 141 36. You Can Remember Who Won the 1991 World Series, but You Can’t Remember Our Anniversary? 144 37. Celebrate Good Times, and Moan with Us During Bad Times 151 38. You Can Book a Tee Time but Not a Reservation? 154 39. Getting High and Other Bad Habits. Don’t Be a Dope 157 40. Five Hundred Channels and One Argument 160 41. The Adult Temper Tantrum. You Need a Time Out, Mister! 163 42. How to Travel Together. It’s NOT a Day at the Spa 166 43. Money, Money, Honey … 169 Part 5: I Know This Is the Way You Are 44. Snorers. Yes, You Do So Snore! 175 45. Temperature Rising: Air-Conditioner Wars 177 Epilogue 179 Afterword 183 Acknowledgments 185
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