James P Carnevale

Counseling Gems

Thoughts For The Practitioner

• Broschiertes Buch

Produktbeschreibung

First Published in 1989. Routledge is an imprint of Taylor & Francis, an informa company.

Produktdetails

• Verlag: Taylor & Francis Ltd (Sales)
• Seitenzahl: 184
• Erscheinungstermin: 1. Mai 1989
• Englisch
• Abmessung: 229mm x 152mm x 12mm
• Gewicht: 308g
• ISBN-13: 9780915202881
• ISBN-10: 0915202883
• Artikelnr.: 21940320

Autorenporträt

jame P. Carnevale

Inhaltsangabe

Introduction
Section I: Counseling Philosophy
1: Counseling is helping people become aware of how they are creating their lives, based upon a belief system they have forgotten they believe.
2: You must have filters through which to sift and organize all the "stuff" the client gives to you.
3: The reason persons are not solving their life problems is not because they aren't smart enough but rather is because they are working with the wrong data.
4: The power of positive thinking only works for those people who are already happy.
5: Real clients are seldom easy clients with whom to work. If something significant wasn't wrong with them, they wouldn't be clients at all.
6: Clients are better at being clients than most counselors are at being counselors.
7: A 5 degree or 10 degree shift in the situation can be significant. A shift of 180 degrees is probably phony and won't last.
8: All behavior has meaning and purpose in some context. Nothing is an accident.
9: Habits become habits because they accomplish something very well.
10: Defense mechanisms are chosen and maintained because they work so well.
11: No all/nothings exist except for being pregnant.
12: Remember that in counseling the problem is always sitting in the chair across from you... and so is the solution!!!
13: Counseling is the TRUTH BUSINESS... and the truth is hard to find.
14: Clients are seldom helpless. They have developed strange ways of succeeding.
15: When a client agrees with you, that doesn't mean you are right
when they disagree with you, that doesn't mean you're wrong.
16: People are not weak-they're just not in touch with their power.
17: However you are feeling about the client or are responding to the client is probably what the client intended.
18: A counseling relationship has several stages. The honeymoon is the fun part
then the work begins.
19: Counselors lose more clients by doing too little too late than by doing too much too soon.
Section II: Goals and Boundaries of Counseling
20: The counseling relationship has a unique set of parameters which carry a unique set of permissions.
21: All problems in counseling are relationship problems. Period!
22: All relationship problems are related to either power or intimacy.
23: The client's problem is rarely the real problem. What the client thinks is the problem is usually a bothersome symptom.
24: Mythology-the basis of it all.
25: New insight and new language give the client some wiggle room for a change.
26: The one who gives in gets even.
27: Value-free counseling-it doesn't exist!
28: Counseling is a process in which we try to avoid the win/lose part of living.
29: Never let a client "IT" on you.
Section III: Clients' Reasons for Counseling
30: For many people, seeing a counselor is an admission that they have failed.
31: Sense of failure...
32: Clients usually hope you can help make things better without changing anything, at least as far as they're concerned.
33: In their hearts they know they're not to blame.
34: The client secretly hopes that you too will fail. The the client won't look so stupid.
Section IV: Counselor's Role
35: One can do only what he thinks is the right thing to do ... under the given circumstances.
36: Responsibility: Creating one's life through choices...
37: To be intimate means to be vulnerable-from a position of strength.
38: You must train your client to be your client.
39: I hold the counselor 75 to 80 percent responsible for what happens in a counseling interview.
40: The counselor, not the client, is in control of the interview-a fact that many beginners forget.
41: Give your clients hope. They need it.
42: If clients have made such a mess of things, how can they ever depend on themselves again.
43: Never contribute to the delinquency of your client.
44: You must be willing to be responsible for making the client feel bad.
45: Clients are excellent at what they are doing wrong.
46: Sincerity does not mean truth.
47: You cannot not communicate.
48: Accepting one's humanness.
49: The superego-you will either increase it or decrease it. Take your pick!
50: Anger, fear, and sadness (or grief) are always that which the client is trying to avoid.
51: If you have to explain what counseling is to a client, you probably aren't doing much of it.
52: People who cry too easily are often covering up their anger. People who anger too easily are often covering up their tears.
53: People who control their emotions may control more than they know.
54: At different times in a counseling relationship I believe the client and the counselor are in a kind of war.
55: Do you want me to be a good counselor or a bad one?
Section V: Problems in counseling
56: Problems of counseling: Some are solved, others are resolved.
57: What they have done to others they will do to you-somehow.
58: Counseling ultimately deals with anger or fear or sadness. It is not a happy business.
59: Misunderstanding the counselor is a great defense for the client.
60: Too logical or too intuitive? That is the question!
61: Clients are never "stuck" in their counseling-they are hanging on.
62: Who's holding back-the counselor or client ?
63: Depression: Is it anger, sadness or despair?
64: Resentment-of whom?
Section VI: Techniques and Procedures
65: There's no such thing as nothing.
66: Don't listen to the client's story. Listen for their life-style within the story.
67: Client history: On my terms only!
68: Patterns of behavior, early memories, familiar situations-all can be keys to early intentionality.
69: Your insight is good. Your client's developing that insight is better.
70: Transference: When it happens, you've struck gold! Go for it!
71: Catharsis doesn't cure anything
but it may be a step toward curing.
72: I actually throw a "counselor switch" on and off at will.
73: The best basis for establishing the counseling relationship is that of the counselor's competence, not of being friendly.
74: Beginning the interview.
75: Beginning the relationship.
76: ... And You?
77: I hate the question, "How do you feel?" or "How are you feeling?"
78: I always have three Here/Nows from which to choose.
79: By-Pass the client's defenses.
80: Humor in therapy is a tricky issue.
81: To the largest extent possible, make the counseling session an experience of the client's life rather than a story about it.
82: Here and Now: The great mystery.
83: The famous "chairs," and how to introduce them.
84: About-ism versus now-ism.
85: You just had a thought...
86: And/But
87: Find out what is, not what isn't.
88: When a client is talking about "people," they may be talking about you-check it out.
89: Listen for a refrain. It may give you a clue to their style.
90: When you make an intervention, pay particular attention to how the client defends against it-and then make another one!
91: To make the client's material meaningful, intensify, intensify, intensify.
92: Confrontation does not mean aggression!
93: Subvocalization-you can't stop it, but you must change it.
94: Another perspective...
95: Suicide: I always take it seriously.
Section VII: Do and Don't
96: Ask broad questions about narrow subjects.
97: A great answer to a different question.
98: K-I-S-S. K eep I t Super Simple.
99: Spontaneity may mean you are unprepared! Rehearse some scenes at home. Develop mini-lecturettes for certain subjects.
100: Body language-the least well defended.
101: Talking "about" feelings without having feelings is seldom helpful.
102: Counseling is not a social dialogue-don't be polite.
103: Don't ask "why," ask "what."
104: One question at a time.
105: If you ask a question, don't you answer it.
106: The client may be trying to entertain you-or himself/herself.
107: Watch for the tears behind the laughter
108: If you miss an important dynamic or piece of information, don't worry! If it is important,it will come up again.
Section VIII: Termination
109: How do you end an interview? One way is to say STOP!
110: When are you ready to stop counseling?