Debra K Carter

Coparenting After Divorce

A GPS for Healthy Kids

• Broschiertes Buch

Produktbeschreibung

A GPS for divorcing parents to map out a realistic plan for effective co-parenting and supporting your children's healthy development.

Produktdetails

• Verlag: High Conflict Institute Press
• Seitenzahl: 186
• Erscheinungstermin: 12. Mai 2015
• Englisch
• Abmessung: 213mm x 136mm x 10mm
• Gewicht: 252g
• ISBN-13: 9781936268887
• ISBN-10: 1936268884
• Artikelnr.: 41455526

Autorenporträt

Debra K. Carter, PhD, is a licensed psychologist and internationally recognized expert in parenting coordination. She is co-founder of the National Cooperative Parenting Center, author of the professional title, Parenting Coordination: A Practical Guide for Family Law Professionals, and a frequent keynote speaker across the U.S. and Italy. Dr. Carter resides in Florida.

Inhaltsangabe

Chapter One: Parenting Coordination: the GPS Model
A. GPS (Guidance for Parenting System) as a Road Map for Parenting
B. What is a Parenting Coordinator?
C. Benefits of Parenting Coordination
D. Effects of Divorce on Children
E. Our Family Redefined
This chapter will cover the global positioning device analogy as a road map
for parenting, with photographs and diagrams to help explain the model. An
overview will cover the role of the parenting coordinator and the focus of
parenting coordination: your children. The benefits of parenting
coordination will be given; with evidence-based studies in support. The
parenting coordinator works with you and your co-parent (who is or will be
your ex-spouse) to set the destination for your child.
Because it's not will your children be harmed by divorce, but how much, the
effects of divorce on children will be presented in evidence-based studies.
The Research section of the book will list more research for professionals
and parents who want further scientific validation. The chapter will end
with the concept of change in families as a normal process: growing up,
moving out, and moving on. The family is now a new system, with co-parents
and other supports for the children. Children are the focus of the new
system.
Chapter Two: Satellites
A. Satellite Tracking
B. Parenting Coordinator "GPS" Model
C. Other Resources
D. Timeline: What to Expect
This chapter will use the GPS analogy of satellite tracking: identifying,
agreeing upon, and tracking important factors for children. Important
factors include physical health, mental health, academics, friends,
spiritual growth, and extended family, among others. To know where your
child is, you get input from many sources. These satellite sources all help
you track where your child is and if he is on track to reach his
destination.
Every GPS has a "resources" button to find fuel, food, attractions, and
points of interest. The parenting coordinator helps find needed resources
such as counseling, tutoring, or medical care. What to expect from the
parenting coordinator is covered in this chapter, as well as an idea of the
phases of parenting coordination: a general timeline of how the process
works as the family moves through the divorce and into the future.
Chapter Three: Nuts and Bolts
A. The Court Order
B. Conflict of Interest
C. Confidentiality
D. Communication with the Court
E. Withdrawal
F. Power of the PC (what if we don't agree)
G. Contract
H. Fees: an investment in your children
I. GPS: Areas to avoid
This chapter explains the legal system and its rules: the Court Order of
Referral and why it refers to a parenting plan - not a parenting
suggestion. The power of the parenting coordinator is described, as well as
what to do if you don't agree. Conflicts of interest are explained in terms
of dual roles and other problems which would lead to ethical problems.
Other nuts and bolts issues include confidentiality, and how the parenting
coordinator lets the Court know what is going on with the family.
A sample contract is presented, with reasons for contracting and
explanations of the various sections. Lastly, areas to avoid are
highlighted so you can avoid common mistakes. This will also let you see if
the parenting coordinator is doing something she should not do, or asking
something that is not in line with her role.
Chapter Four: Setting the Route?
A. PC interventions
B. Fastest Route, Shortest Route
C. Avoid Toll Roads
D. Avoid U-Turns
E. Preparing for the Future
The parenting coordinator will use many different ways to map out the best
route for your children. The GPS analogy takes the final destination
("where do you want your child to be at 18?") and then calculates a path
from where the child is now. The GPS can be set to the fastest or shortest
route. Toll roads can be avoided (costly interventions that may not be
necessary). U-turns can be avoided by staying on track. Traffic and weather
alerts warn of problems ahead so you can be prepared.
Preparing for the future is an important area that deals with new parenting
partners, new siblings (stepchildren as well as new children born of a new
couple), new in-laws, and the changing needs of children as they grow.
Chapter Five: Conflict, Change, and The Parenting Plan
A. Zoom in, zoom out
B. What does the plan include?
C. What is not included?
D. Recalculating
The Parenting Plan is the master map for the child. The GPS can zoom in for
details, and then zoom out to make sure that you don't lose sight of the
big picture. Items in the plan are discussed at length, as well as items
that are not part of the plan. You will know what to expect, and what not
to hope for.
Everyone makes mistakes. Your children will lose their way. You will lose
track, too. And the unexpected will always crop up. When that happens, the
GPS will recalculate to find the best way to get back on track. Ongoing
meetings with the parenting coordinator act as the GPS to recalculate as
needed. Whatever the changes, the parenting coordinator helps modify the
parenting plan as needed.
Chapter Six: Selecting Your Plan
A. Customized Plan
B. Self-Assessment Tools
The parenting plan is customized based on your parenting style, while
meeting your children's needs. To make the customized plan, self-assessment
of your parenting style is needed. This chapter has easy-to-use
self-assessment tools for parents. Most states and provinces now require
parenting plans which parents must select on their own if they are not
represented by attorneys.
Links for online completion of the self-assessment will be given for those
who would like to complete the exercises online.
Chapter Seven: Bumps in the Road
Introduction: Letting Go.
A. Walking Away
B. Too Close
C. Mental Illness
D. Addiction
E. Violence
When the road gets bumpy, it can be because old hurts and resentment get in
the way. Letting go is one of the hardest parts of the divorce process. It
is important to learn to let go and cope with old - and new - hurts in a
way that protects your children.
Some bumps are harder to handle than others. Your co-parent with mental
illness may be unpredictable and unreliable. Or she may be addicted to
drugs or alcohol, which can endanger your children. The highest risk to
your children is the violent co-parent. This chapter deals with practical
steps to take when these bumps in the road come up. Examples and exercises
help to explain this difficult area.
Chapter Eight: Are We There Yet?
A. When does it end?
B. Boundaries
C. Check-ups
The phases of parenting coordination are very different, and it can be
confusing to know when parenting coordination should end. The normal growth
and re-formation of the new family will occasionally be difficult, and the
plan will sometimes go awry. The parenting coordination timeline is
reviewed, with examples of when to come back for a checkup.
Boundaries are an important part of the parenting process. Boundaries
between you and your children, you and your co-parent, and you and your
parenting coordinator are discussed, with examples and exercises to
recognize healthy and unhealthy boundaries.
The ultimate goal is to create hope: hope that you and your children can
grow into this new reality.
Resources: Useful Websites for Parents
References
Resources: Research