Laurel Wiers is a licensed marriage and family therapist who has been in private practice for over fourteen years. She is both the owner and director of Lighthouse Counseling in Groton, Connecticut. She received her master's degree from East Carolina University while doing her internship at Duke Medical Center and has served as an instructor at multiple universities teaching courses on family relations. She has been an expert contributor to articles for both printed and online magazines such as gURL.com, careerbliss.com, naturalnews.com, and Military Life magazine to name a few. She has also been interviewed on the subject of infidelity by both authors and radio personalities, including recent radio interviews by Deborah Jayne East, host of Relationship 911 on Gfem Talk Show in Atlanta, and Michael Dresser of The Michael Dresser Show.
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Introduction Who is this book's reader? The Problem Why I Had to Write a Book A Different Kind of Book on Infidelity It works! There is hope. Some Thoughts before We Begin Chapter 1 Signs, Evidence, and What to Do with It All Inklings of Infidelity Go with your gut. Getting Confirmation What is an affair, anyway? Should I confront my betrayer? Permission, Envision, Decision Ask Yourself Chapter 2 Confront or Keep Quiet Timing Laying It All Out There Possible Responses Now what? How Things Might Turn Out What questions am I allowed to ask? Exercise: How to Structure an Information-Gathering Session Ask Yourself A Final Caution Chapter 3 I've Been Cheated On. Now What? It's Confirmed . . . What's normal? So Many Feelings Whom to Tell Don't rewrite history. Grieving DO NOT MAKE A DECISION! Exercise: Dealing with the Questions of Others So what's next? Ask Yourself Chapter 4 "You Want Me to What?" New Rules How Things Might Turn Out Ask Yourself Chapter 5 Back to a Seminormal Life Some Common Concerns A Caution against Becoming a Victim What if he's staying with me just because he "has to"? The Tricky Part of Trust (the Second Time Around) Giving the Relationship an Honest Evaluation Ask Yourself Chapter 6 "How Could You!" Who cheats? So why do affairs happen? What makes one relationship more vulnerable than another? How Unspoken Expectations Can Contribute to an Affair "I love you, but I'm not in love with you." Other Contributors to Infidelity Going Forward Ask Yourself Exercise: What are your ideas and expectations for love and relationships? Chapter 7 So What Was Your Part in All This? Envision the Conversation Now what do we do? What's next? Ask Yourself Chapter 8 Decisions and Forgiveness (Yes, It's Required) Signs that Maybe It's Time to Go Choosing to Stay for "the Other Reasons" He still doesn't know what he wants. You don't want the relationship (but thought you did). Forgiveness (Oh, no, not that!) Afterword The End of the Journey: Stepping Out Together in the New Relationship You Both Have Created About the Author Endnotes
Introduction Who is this book's reader? The Problem Why I Had to Write a Book A Different Kind of Book on Infidelity It works! There is hope. Some Thoughts before We Begin Chapter 1 Signs, Evidence, and What to Do with It All Inklings of Infidelity Go with your gut. Getting Confirmation What is an affair, anyway? Should I confront my betrayer? Permission, Envision, Decision Ask Yourself Chapter 2 Confront or Keep Quiet Timing Laying It All Out There Possible Responses Now what? How Things Might Turn Out What questions am I allowed to ask? Exercise: How to Structure an Information-Gathering Session Ask Yourself A Final Caution Chapter 3 I've Been Cheated On. Now What? It's Confirmed . . . What's normal? So Many Feelings Whom to Tell Don't rewrite history. Grieving DO NOT MAKE A DECISION! Exercise: Dealing with the Questions of Others So what's next? Ask Yourself Chapter 4 "You Want Me to What?" New Rules How Things Might Turn Out Ask Yourself Chapter 5 Back to a Seminormal Life Some Common Concerns A Caution against Becoming a Victim What if he's staying with me just because he "has to"? The Tricky Part of Trust (the Second Time Around) Giving the Relationship an Honest Evaluation Ask Yourself Chapter 6 "How Could You!" Who cheats? So why do affairs happen? What makes one relationship more vulnerable than another? How Unspoken Expectations Can Contribute to an Affair "I love you, but I'm not in love with you." Other Contributors to Infidelity Going Forward Ask Yourself Exercise: What are your ideas and expectations for love and relationships? Chapter 7 So What Was Your Part in All This? Envision the Conversation Now what do we do? What's next? Ask Yourself Chapter 8 Decisions and Forgiveness (Yes, It's Required) Signs that Maybe It's Time to Go Choosing to Stay for "the Other Reasons" He still doesn't know what he wants. You don't want the relationship (but thought you did). Forgiveness (Oh, no, not that!) Afterword The End of the Journey: Stepping Out Together in the New Relationship You Both Have Created About the Author Endnotes
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