Asinine Assassins - Hilton, Matt; Bauer, Chris; Dorr, James
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HUMOROUS AND SATIRICAL SUSPENSE AND MYSTERY STORIES "Think Peter Sellers as Inspector Clouseau with Don Knotts and Tim Conway from the Apple Dumpling Gang mixing with John Travolta as Vincent Vega along with a gang of murderous otters and that's just a portion of what you'll find." asinine [as-i-nine] adjective 1: extremely or utterly foolish or silly 2: of, relating to, or resembling an ass Synonyms: absurd, balmy, brainless, bubbleheaded, cockeyed, crackpot, crazy, cuckoo, daffy, daft, dippy, dotty, fatuous, feather-headed, fool, foolish, half-baked, half-witted, harebrained, inept, insane,…mehr

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HUMOROUS AND SATIRICAL SUSPENSE AND MYSTERY STORIES "Think Peter Sellers as Inspector Clouseau with Don Knotts and Tim Conway from the Apple Dumpling Gang mixing with John Travolta as Vincent Vega along with a gang of murderous otters and that's just a portion of what you'll find." asinine [as-i-nine] adjective 1: extremely or utterly foolish or silly 2: of, relating to, or resembling an ass Synonyms: absurd, balmy, brainless, bubbleheaded, cockeyed, crackpot, crazy, cuckoo, daffy, daft, dippy, dotty, fatuous, feather-headed, fool, foolish, half-baked, half-witted, harebrained, inept, insane, jerky, kooky, loony, lunatic, lunkheaded, mad, nonsensical, nutty, preposterous, sappy, screwball, senseless, silly, simpleminded, stupid, tomfool, unwise, wacky, weak-minded, witless CRIME FICTION WITH A DIFFERENCE Each of the 24 stories in the Asinine Assassins anthology involves a character (e.g., assassin, contract killer, hitman) with the above synonyms in mind. Asinine Assassins is an anthology of stories about inept, brainless, ridiculous hired guns, assassins, and murderers. Be ready for plenty of humor, action, suspense, and mystery. Black humor. Bizarre incidents, Surreal situations. Some stories are gritty, some grisly, but all are entertaining. The first two books in the 'Assassins' anthology series, Uncommon Assassins and Insidious Assassins were well-received and reviewed. Most readers enjoyed the diversity of genres and styles in these books, and Asinine Assassins continued that diversity with the new anthology. This time, however, the stories focused on incompetent and lunatic characters-with a dash of dark humor flavoring the suspense. This is NOT your typical crime fiction. If you love a wonderful blend of mystery, suspense, noir, humor, and general weirdness, expect to be surprised and entertained! THE STORIESRip Ho, Jaspers -- Ricky Sprague Dumbass -- F.J. Talley There's One for You, Nineteen for Me -- Carson Buckingham Upchuck Chuck -- Bruce Harris Dirty Pool -- Chris Bauer Mr. Benedict's Wild Ride -- Robin Hill-Page Glanden Payback: With Interest -- Matt Hilton Shooting Fish -- James Dorr Jug Handles -- Albert Tucher Short-Order Crook -- J. Gregory Smith Blood in the Urine -- Martin Zeigler Just Call Wally -- Wil A. Emerson Aiding and Abetting -- Adrian Ludens Lizards and Other Varmints -- Shari Held Killer Fashion -- Maddi Davidson Angling -- Ben Gamblin Small Claws, Small Guns -- Jezzy Wolfe The Butcher -- Robert Petyo The Adventure of the Asinine Assassin -- Rick Hudson The Last Hit -- Eldon Litchfield Killings 4 Sale -- Blair Keetch The Third Date Rule -- Jeff Markowitz One Good Thing -- Kevin P. Thornton Deerman -- Weldon Burge