The Unofficial Glastonbury Survival Manual 2025 (Or: How to Emerge From the Fields of Avalon With Dignity, Memories, and Both Your Wellies) (eBook, ePUB)
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Mud. Music. Madness. Mild existential crises.Congratulations! You've secured a golden ticket to the greatest festival on Earth (or at least the muddiest). Now what? Whether you're a first-time dreamer or a weather-beaten veteran, this chaotically informative guide will ensure you emerge from Glastonbury relatively unscathedor at least with all your wellies still attached.Packed with essential wisdom, slightly odd illustrations, survival strategies, and just the right amount of gallows humour, this book will help you:Pack Like a Pro (or at Least Not Like a Muppet) What you actually need (wellie...
Mud. Music. Madness. Mild existential crises.
Congratulations! You've secured a golden ticket to the greatest festival on Earth (or at least the muddiest). Now what? Whether you're a first-time dreamer or a weather-beaten veteran, this chaotically informative guide will ensure you emerge from Glastonbury relatively unscathedor at least with all your wellies still attached.
Packed with essential wisdom, slightly odd illustrations, survival strategies, and just the right amount of gallows humour, this book will help you:
So, there you have ita no-nonsense, slightly unhinged survival guide to Glastonbury, where the only certainty is that nothing will go to plan (and that you'll probably lose at least one essential item along the way). Whether you're wading through the mud, belting out lyrics with thousands of strangers, or having an existential crisis in an endless queue, this book will remind you that it's all part of the magic. Because when the dust (or mud) settles, you won't remember the discomfortyou'll remember the music, the madness, and the sheer ridiculous joy of it all.
See you at the next one!
Congratulations! You've secured a golden ticket to the greatest festival on Earth (or at least the muddiest). Now what? Whether you're a first-time dreamer or a weather-beaten veteran, this chaotically informative guide will ensure you emerge from Glastonbury relatively unscathedor at least with all your wellies still attached.
Packed with essential wisdom, slightly odd illustrations, survival strategies, and just the right amount of gallows humour, this book will help you:
- Pack Like a Pro (or at Least Not Like a Muppet) What you actually need (wellies, wet wipes, and dignity in small doses) vs. what you'll regret (a full makeup kit and a guitar you can't play).
- The Great Pyramid Stage Conundrum Big names, hidden gems, and why your carefully planned schedule will be ignored by Day Two.
- Mud, Sweat, and Tears A practical guide to trench foot avoidance, sunburn prevention, and how to develop a healthy relationship with your waterproof poncho.
- Toilets: The Final Boss Strategies for the queue, tips for bravery, and that one horror story you'll overhear from a stranger.
- Tent Pitches and Neighbourhood Politics The great debate: high ground vs. proximity to the toilets. Plus, how to befriend (or at least tolerate) the guy with a ukulele.
- Festival Personalities You'll Inevitably Meet The Hardcore Raver (hasn't slept since 1998), The Wellness Guru (will heal your soul with a crystal), and The Lost Soul (hasn't seen their mates since Thursday).
- Festival Food: The Good, The Bad, and The Financially Ruinous Can you survive on falafel and cider alone? Probably not. Will you try anyway? Absolutely.
- Leaving Without a Breakdown (or a Breakdown Truck) Packing up when your tent is now a biohazard, surviving the exodus queues, and coping with the emotional void once you're home.
- Whether you're lost in the mud, lost in the music, or just lost in general, this guide will hold your hand through the glorious chaos of Worthy Farm. It won't keep your socks dry, but it will make you laugh.
- Would you do it again? (Spoiler: Yes. Yes, you would.)
So, there you have ita no-nonsense, slightly unhinged survival guide to Glastonbury, where the only certainty is that nothing will go to plan (and that you'll probably lose at least one essential item along the way). Whether you're wading through the mud, belting out lyrics with thousands of strangers, or having an existential crisis in an endless queue, this book will remind you that it's all part of the magic. Because when the dust (or mud) settles, you won't remember the discomfortyou'll remember the music, the madness, and the sheer ridiculous joy of it all.
See you at the next one!
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