Too Stupid to Visit

and other collections of funny bits

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Are there intelligent life forms out there in the universe? Well yeah. No one's visited us yet. Have you noticed that more and more athletes are saying a quick prayer at the starting line? A clear admission that you can't possibly win without divine intervention - yeah, that'll really psych out your opponents. And this 'bigger is better' thing - completely illogical. Anyone can shoot a moose that's just standing there. If you really wanna brag, hang a pair of chipmunk ears on your wall. These bits and many more in Too Stupid to Visit. __________ "... wretchedly funny." C. Mike Rice, Realworlda...

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Jass Richards (jassrichards.com) has a Master's degree in Philosophy and for a (very) brief time was a stand-up comic (now she's more of a sprawled-on-the-couch comic). Despite these attributes, she has received four Ontario Arts Council grants. In addition to her Rev and Dylan series (The Road Trip Dialogues, The Blasphemy Tour, License to Do That, and The ReGender App), which has reportedly made at least one person snort root beer out her nose, she has written This Will Not Look Good on My Resume (shortlisted for the Rubery Book Award), followed by its sequel Dogs Just Wanna Have Fun ('nuff said). She has also written the perfect cottage-warming gift, TurboJetslams: Proof #29 of the Non-Existence of God (which, along with License to Do That, made it to Goodreads' Fiction Books That Opened Your Eyes To A Social Or Political Issue list), its sequel, CottageEscape.zyx: Satan Takes Over, and a (way)-off-the-beaten-path first contact novel, A Philosopher, A Psychologist, and an Extraterrestrial Walk into a Chocolate Bar, along with its supplemental Jane Smith's Translation Dictionary of Everyday Lies, Insults, Manipulations, and Clueless Comments. Lastly, she has published a collection of her stand-up bits, titled Too Stupid to Visit and other collections of funny bits. Excerpts from her several books have appeared in The Cynic Online Magazine, in Contemporary Monologues for Young Women (vol.3) and 222 More Comedy Monologues, and on Erma Bombeck's humor website. Her one-woman play Substitute Teacher from Hell received its premiere performance by Ghost Monkey Productions in Winnipeg. Her worst-ever stand-up moment occurred in Atlanta at a for-blacks-only club (apparently). Her best-ever stand-up moment occurred in Toronto when she made the black guy fall off his stool because he was laughing so hard at her Donovan Bailey joke. (The guy set a world record for running the 100M in 9.84 seconds, yeah? Big wup. My dog can do better than that. 'Course, she's black too.)