Selfish
Unlearning, Reclaiming, and Telling the Truth
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In this provocative memoir, one woman discovers that after years spent prioritizing other people's needs (her husband, their business, their children) over her own, she has reached a threshold she is ready to cross: putting herself first. Women everywhere are wrestling with all kinds of self-development challenges: perfectionism, boundaries, people pleasing, the pressures of mothering, the patriarchy, having a career. There are, of course, books to help us cope with each of these discrete issues, but what if the next frontier in all manner of personal growth is to put ourselves first? What if ...
In this provocative memoir, one woman discovers that after years spent prioritizing other people's needs (her husband, their business, their children) over her own, she has reached a threshold she is ready to cross: putting herself first. Women everywhere are wrestling with all kinds of self-development challenges: perfectionism, boundaries, people pleasing, the pressures of mothering, the patriarchy, having a career. There are, of course, books to help us cope with each of these discrete issues, but what if the next frontier in all manner of personal growth is to put ourselves first? What if we reclaimed the word selfish to ignite a movement of women who actually do what they want? In this beautifully crafted and propulsive memoir, Kerry Docherty—a businesswoman, mother of two, and wife—details her journey to rediscover parts of herself buried under other people's expectations, and how counterintuitively, the more she focused on saying yes to the things that made her feel good, and no to the things that did not, the more she overflowed with creativity, ease, presence, and purpose. In cinematic detail and with breathtaking honesty, Kerry describes the events that made her realize she was giving too much of herself—to a marriage with her college sweetheart that wasn't as fulfilling as she'd hoped, to the family startup, and to the growing family that demanded attention she didn’t always want to give. Determined to feel seen as the woman she wanted to be—an artist, activist, poet, romantic—she began to steal simple moments for herself, replacing her to-do lists with poems, pushing the business towards the things she cared about, and widening her circle of creative friends. As Kerry chased her desire to be understood, however, she found herself veering in a potentially destructive direction—one that would seriously test her marriage. Along her journey to self-understanding, Kerry wrestled with the demands of capitalism, complicated family dynamics, what it means to be good and bad, and the consequences of telling the truth. With incisive observation, biting humor, and a willingness to start uncomfortable conversations, Selfish is an unapologetic call to action for women everywhere.
