Realm of the Profane
House of Dragons
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What if Lord of the Rings, The Wizard of Oz, and Skyrim all dropped acid at a drunken house party? Welcome to the filthiest fantasy you never dared imagine... When two best friends wake up after the world's wildest trip, they find themselves not in Hackney, but somewhere far, far weirder-a land where dragons moan with pleasure, elves throw orgies in glowing forests, and even the trees have wisecracks (and serious sap kinks). Here, nothing is sacred-except chaos, sex, and ancient secrets. Each corner of the realm is more outrageous than the last: wizards with misbehaving beards, pixies who solv...
What if Lord of the Rings, The Wizard of Oz, and Skyrim all dropped acid at a drunken house party? Welcome to the filthiest fantasy you never dared imagine... When two best friends wake up after the world's wildest trip, they find themselves not in Hackney, but somewhere far, far weirder-a land where dragons moan with pleasure, elves throw orgies in glowing forests, and even the trees have wisecracks (and serious sap kinks). Here, nothing is sacred-except chaos, sex, and ancient secrets. Each corner of the realm is more outrageous than the last: wizards with misbehaving beards, pixies who solve wars with "dust," and a living castle that bleeds and breeds with the moon. For Laura and Georgie, surviving isn't just about facing monsters-it's about facing their own wildest desires and discovering what destiny (and a very sarcastic tree) really has in store for them. Book 1: House of Dragons, part of the Realm of the Profane series Getting home was never going to be easy. Surviving the House of Dragons might be impossible. Lost, hungover, and very much out of their depth, Laura and Georgie must brave a world where nothing is as it seems-and everyone is in it for their own twisted pleasure. Their only guide? A perverted talking tree with a penchant for alcohol and a map made from his own bark. As they journey toward the infamous House of Dragons, they'll meet fire-breathing beasts, sex-crazed elves, and magic so wild it'll burn the clothes right off their backs. With every step, the world gets stranger, steamier, and more dangerous-and the girls begin to realize the only way out is through. Magic, madness, and mayhem await in the Realm of the Profane - where in this journey will they end up? What will they meet on their way? Perfect for fans of smutty fantasy, wicked humor, and unapologetic adventure. Read at your own risk. Or delight.
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