"Parenting and family life comes both completely naturally to us and yet is so complex at the same time, it can feel almost impossible to feel we've ever got it 'right'. In this wonderful book, Janne Østergaard Hagelquist and Heino Rasmussen, both parents and clinicians make the impossible seem possible. Using clear language, wonderful images and providing us with a tool kit, they help us to regain our capacity to mentalize in the most non-mentalizing system of all - the family. This is the book you will wish your parents had read and which your own children will undoubtedly benefit from. I wish I had it before I had children!" Sheila Redfern, Head of Service, Specialist Trauma and Maltreatment
"The authors use the mentalizing
framework expertly to articulate for parents an understanding of child development that provides a basis for practical help in parenting. They have organized their presentation with crystal clarity while providing an abundance of everyday examples of parenting challenges accompanied by useful suggestions and strategies. Most importantly, they give primary weight to the quality of relationships among family members, grounded in sensitive and skillful mentalizing that the authors exemplify." Jon G. Allen, PhD, Professor of Psychiatry in the Menninger Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at the Baylor College of Medicine; and Senior Staff Psychologist in The Menninger Clinic, Houston, Texas
"In this new volume, Janne Østergaard Hagelquist and Heino Rasmussen provide a sensitive and reflective guide for parents and families who wish to increase their mentalizing capacity. With humor and humility (two important characteristics of the mentalizing stance), and rich and vivid examples, the authors manage to gently convey not only the "what", but also the "how" of mentalizing. All parents and families can benefit from reading this book, and the volume also presents a very useful tool for psychoeducation that clinicians may use in their work with families." Carla Sharp, PhD, Director of Clinical Training and the Developmental Psychopathology Lab at Houston University, Texas
