
Crossing an Ocean Without a Compass
Autism and Independence: The Journey of a Mother and Her Daughter
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You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink . . . fittingly describes one mother's experience of parenting a young adult with high functioning autism. As told in Crossing an Ocean Without a Compass, the author led her daughter Cait to the trough of independence, but the actual drinking she learned, is not something she can control. All those parental expectations of launching children into adulthood went out the window as she struggled to support Cait, helping her secure employment, find a place to live on her own, and establish a healthy social network. She'd thought her effort...
You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink . . . fittingly describes one mother's experience of parenting a young adult with high functioning autism. As told in Crossing an Ocean Without a Compass, the author led her daughter Cait to the trough of independence, but the actual drinking she learned, is not something she can control. All those parental expectations of launching children into adulthood went out the window as she struggled to support Cait, helping her secure employment, find a place to live on her own, and establish a healthy social network. She'd thought her efforts could make a difference - but not to Cait, a least not how her mother had expected. This mother learned while all parents want their kids to eventually "leave the nest" to lead full, independent lives, there's another reality when a child is on the autism spectrum. Then everything is up for grabs - nothing is guaranteed. Crossing an Ocean Without a Compass is a series of short narratives, topically organized and candidly told through one mother's lens. All the foibles of parenting are laid bare, and the mistakes along the way honestly shared. It delves into Cait's struggle with maintaining a job and daily schedule, entering a social world online, keeping family ties, and ultimately figuring out the skill set to secure and keep her independence. While books have begun to fill the shelves offering advice on raising children with high functioning autism, there are no guides for when that child becomes an adult. Transition programs are growing, but they provide little real support for entering an adult world that is becoming increasingly more complicated and fast-paced. While Crossing an Ocean Without a Compass doesn't pretend to propose easy solutions, the real-life stories of one mother and her daughter, told with humor and insight, offer renewed hope to all those struggling to meet the needs of neurodivergent young adults to transition to independent and successful lives.