Almost A Father
A Memoir of Male Infertility; A Love Story About My Soulmate, Our Soulbaby, and The Music In Between
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"What's the matter? You shooting blanks?" These words from his brother-in law prove prophetic after Denny Ceizyk learns that his biology is not up to the task. His Hollywood vision of making love to make a baby is replaced by the reality of doctors, plastic semen sample cups, public masturbation, and the irrepressible sight of a large dildo-ish ultrasound wand. Denny has become a player in some sordid medical menage a-trois- the one getting the least action. Adding insult to injury, he is soon paying hundreds, and later thousands, of dollars, to stand by while experts explore his wife from the...
"What's the matter? You shooting blanks?" These words from his brother-in law prove prophetic after Denny Ceizyk learns that his biology is not up to the task. His Hollywood vision of making love to make a baby is replaced by the reality of doctors, plastic semen sample cups, public masturbation, and the irrepressible sight of a large dildo-ish ultrasound wand. Denny has become a player in some sordid medical menage a-trois- the one getting the least action. Adding insult to injury, he is soon paying hundreds, and later thousands, of dollars, to stand by while experts explore his wife from the waist down, allegedly for the sake of creating a son or daughter. Rather than acting on his mildly violent urges toward arrogant reproductive endocrinologists, Denny takes a different approach: He starts writing. Almost a Father chronicles in detail Denny's transformation from tightlipped, angry and unwilling sperm provider to outspoken, passionate advocate of his wife's right to have a baby with their biology. Dr. David Sable, co founder of the Institute for Reproductive Medicine and Science at Saint Barnabas Medical Center, said something to Denny that had a profound effect on him: "For a woman, having a baby is as basic a biological need as eating, breathing, or sleeping." Once Denny begins to understand this, he realizes he could never fully comprehend the primal biological urge motivating his wife, because he is not naturally hardwired to ever grow a child. It isn't until Denny tells Lisa that he will never stop trying to have a baby with her, no matter what it takes, that their last frozen, poor-quality embryo finds her roots in Lisa's womb. In hindsight, Denny' s underlying fear is that he may have inadvertently pushed away the spirits of their unborn babies during the many years he was obstinate and uncooperative in their fertility pursuits. Denny's insights have been the catalyst for many stolid arm-crossed husbands to share aloud in infertility suppor
