Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don't have a text
messaging plan. I paid 25 cents to get fired. Your girlfriend
dumped you, your car broke down, your boss passed you up for the
big promotion. Life's not fair, but there is one sure-fire way
to ease your pain-laughing at someone else who had an even worse
day than you did. Enter the devastatingly funny world of F My Life,
where calamity is comedy. Covering every disastrous pratfall in
love, work, family-life, and more, F My Life proffers other
people's ruinous, real-life happenings to brighten your
gloomiest day: someone getting dumped through a greeting card,
ignored at their birthday party, or insulted by their own
grandmother. Spanning everything from ironic twists of fate to
down-right shameful moments, F My Life's squirm-inducing
stories are schadenfreude at its finest. So today, take solace in
knowing that at least you're not that guy. There now, don't
you feel better? Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I cried and
told him that I loved him. He gave me a quarter and told me to call
someone who cared. I threw the quarter in his face and ran. I
waited for the bus, but when I got on, I realized I was 25 cents
short of the fare. I walked home in the rain. Today, my mom walked
in on me looking at a 1978 Playboy. She asked if I found it in the
basement. I said yes. Then I realized she was the centerfold.
Today, I got in line at the grocery store. The woman in front of me
looked right at me, turned to her friend, and said "That
reminds me, I forgot to get acne cream."
